In fact, from a Buddhist perspective and as outlined in this Wellbeing article, those who lack self-love are lazy. This is because self-love requires commitment to undertake the journey, a willingness to turn away from the busyness of life, and the courage to face who we truly are.
The difference between self-love and selfishness
Selfishness or narcissism is about obsession with self. The word ‘narcissism’ comes from from the Greek myth about Narcissu, a beautiful young man who fell in love with his reflection in the river and drowned in it as he reached out to touch his reflection.
Far from being detrimental, self-love is necessary for us to function well in society. Dr Judith Pickering, a Jungian analyst and couples therapist tells Wellbeing that this is because “Loving oneself is a part of loving others; we are all part of a common humanity, we are all interdependent and interrelational beings.”
Just as selfishness leads to difficulties with others, so does constantly prioritising the needs of others over yourself.
How can we learn to love ourselves?
Self-love is hard work. Dr Pickering points out that loving ourselves is easier if we have experienced love from others, particularly our parents or carers. For those who did not experience this growing up, the journey to self-love may be longer or harder. However, therapies such as psychotherapy or neuro-linguistic programming may help.
Meditation is also used in Buddhism to help people enhancing their love for self. Even if you are not Buddhist, you can make self-love meditations a regular part of your life. With regular practice, you can experience erosion of negative and unreal thoughts. Everyone’s journey to self-love will be different, but the growth is invaluable.
We have qualified psychotherapy, neuro-linguistic programming and meditation therapists who can help you on this journey to self-love. Click on the image below to book a free consultation call with our complementary health practitioners.
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