Inner child and ME

This week, I had a humbling experience that reminded me of something important—
Even when we’ve done the inner work, even when we hold space for others, we’re still human. Still learning. Still healing.

Here’s what unfolded…

The Emotional Spiral I Didn’t See Coming

Someone very dear to me was going through a deep personal crisis. And despite all I know, I couldn’t detach myself emotionally. I got swept right into the storm.

Before I knew it, we were in meltdown mode—each of us trying to assert our boundaries. Neither of us could fully hear or understand the other.

And I couldn’t hold space for her.

The personal relationship in that moment felt stronger than the therapist in me.

And yes—I got triggered. Deeply.

I felt unheard. Hurt. Suffocated.I began to judge her. I couldn’t understand why she was being this way. And I felt helpless.

But here’s the truth that came to me later:

• She didn’t come to me as a client.
• She came to me to feel lighter.
• All she needed was to be heard.

The Inner Child Woke Up

Eventually, we both stepped back to breathe. And when I did, I asked myself:

What just happened there? Where was your compassion? Where did your love go?

That’s when the Child in me spoke up.

• “But why do I always have to be the understanding one?”
• “Why does she have to behave like this?”
• “Why can’t she see the bigger picture?”

I paused.

Okay. Let’s figure this out.

The Gentle Inquiry That Followed

I asked myself: Are these ‘whys' helping you right now?

So I looked deeper…

What’s really going on inside me? 
I’m feeling hurt.

Why?

Because I’ve felt this before.
Because I’ve longed for her approval all my life.
And now, with this situation, I wanted to prove that I know. That I’m capable. That I’ve evolved.

But do I really “know better”?

No, not really.

Yes, maybe I can see the situation from a third-person lens.
But I can never fully know what’s happening inside her—not truly.

What Do I Actually Want?

I asked myself: What do I really want right now?

The answer came gently:

I want to be able to take care of myself and still hold space for her.

Not one or the other.

Both.

And How Do I Do That?

I’m still learning. But maybe it begins here:

• By softening toward myself.
• By not shaming myself for getting triggered.
• By listening to the wounded child inside without letting her take over the wheel.

It begins by reminding myself:

• I don’t have to be perfect.
• I just have to be present.
• With myself. With her. With the moment.

And maybe, just maybe—that is enough.

Reflection for You

Have you ever found your inner child speaking louder than your wiser self?

In those moments, what did she really want you to know?

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below or in your journal. Let’s walk this healing path together—with gentleness, honesty, and a whole lot of love.